Start Time: 2:44 AM

Dear Erika,

i havent written in here for awhile and im sorry for that. a lot have happened. feelings going up and down.

first things first. im not sure if i told you this, but were not going to maui on the 9th anymore. we postponed it to when? im not too sure.

k, so im here in this so called "life" all happy about it, then this person comes and just ruins it all. i dont blame this person, i guess, cuz i let myself talk to this person. ugh, i hate typing "this person" over and over and i dont wanna mention their name so lets just called this person... 247.  anyways, so 247 tells me their personal life and its like i dont care about it, but for some reason, the more 247 talks about it in more detail, i get jealous in a way, but at the same time im happy for 247. ugh, idk. im rambleing, jibber jabber. blah blah blah so on and so worth. whatever. i wanna stop talking to 247, but i cant stop myself to.. like i feel so bad and its like i cant avoid it. idk. i get into that "suicidal" phase everytime i talk to 247. but who else am i suppose to talk to? i guess my bro.. but he wouldnt quite understand, plus, he doesnt give great advise. whatever, i hate this subject. i wanna stop talking to 247. period.

so one of my co-worker... her names glory. and idk. shes so cute. whoaaa... not like that. shes like in love with my bro like.. SO MUCH. shes 22? 21? and hes what.. 16? and like she texts him with all these sweet talks like "you dunno how much i love you. my love for you is bigger than the ocean. bigger than the world, bigger than the universe..." and i cant remember the rest. but its sooo adorable. i wish the guy that i like was like her. and they flirt... no scratch that... SHE flirts with him all the time whenever they work together. gosh, im so jealous. seriously. and im there at work telling her, "glory, tell your hunny to hurry up.." and shes all there, "what??? hes not my hunny" lol.. we joke a lot like that though. i just feel so bad. and i just found out today that shes suicidal too cuz hes going out with her friend and she had feelings way before her friend did. and omg.. i dont wanna lose her. shes such a great person, in and out of work. shes prob one of the BEST people from work. if only josh can "open his eyes" and see how sweet and caring glory is. it just disappoints me why he chose his current gf than glory.

so.. last night at work.. yeah.. i hit my hand so hard against this metal mini refrigerator that it opened my skin and made a scratch like... heres a pic.
 
the cut is like about 1.5 inch long. kinda gross huh? i would go closer to see that it really opened, but its too gross.

hmm. OH. so richie got me addicted to this game.. gaiaonline.com and you can make your own avatar and this what mine looks like...

cute huh? only thing.. i dont carry 2 heart boxes around lol. heres a more better pic of me though.

and i created richie. :]

and then all these other avatars... yes, you can tell i was bored at that time...

and youre wondering why im posting these pics... cuz its 3:46 AM and im pretty random now.

so "Love Is Blind" is like my favorite phrase right now and because of that, i decided to take pics of me blindfolded. and i dont feel like posting them. i think i posted enough pics in this post. you can see them or it on my myspace.

so i dont wanna sleep... but i got work 2-10pm. i just wanna listen to music and just think...

i want a bf. fuck...

im done.

Be Strong Hun,
♥erika

Finish Time: 3:55 AM

Start Time: 8:59 AM

Dear Erika,

i had a weird dream and it surprises me that i can remember it till now. well, i just woke up a couple min ago. hehe
so i was at zippys with katie, shanel m, and this other guy, i dont know who it was but it was one of my friends and for some reason, shirley and my co-worker, dimitre, worked there. we were eating in the dining area (not restaurant), right by the pastries area. so dimitre worked the front counter and shirley at the pastries area. so we ordered our food and it took so long, like 20-30 min and it was weird because on their menu, it wasnt at all zippys food. i remember looking at the menu and ordering this clear noodles thing. okay, so i ordered that clear noodles thing with a side of french fries. my friend gave my food on a tray and it wasnt my order, but i didnt complain. it was this rice thing with 2 alcoholic beverages in those long tall green glasses. and i was thinking, "i dont drink..." so i kept asking if people wanted some and they didnt want. so here comes shanel, puts some on the side of her face, yeah ON, and says, "hmm, this taste good" i gave her the weird look and thinking, "how can she taste it if its on her face?" is it some drinking method or something? then katie didnt want her food and asked if she could switch hers with mines and of course i said go ahead and so she took mines and her bowl was almost done so i was thinking, "okay, piece of cake, theres only little bit left", but one of the weirdest things happened and she took her knife and fork and started adding these noodles from her lap, yeah weird and random i know! so thats all i remember, weird dream. lol

the end,
♥Erika

Finish Time: 9:10 AM

Start Time: 11:56 PM

Dear Erika,

isnt it wrong to like two guys at the same time?

the problem is, for this one guy, i dislike how he dresses and he says this phrase a lot so it gets kinda annoying. when we talk on the phone, he talks like.. alot, and i mean a lot, but when were in person, hes all quiet. im getting a bit comfortable around him so i crack jokes with him and hes fun so he plays along. he doesnt drive, or doesnt like to he says, so that kinda sucks. and with this guy, i only like him sometimes so i really dont know what holding me back from liking him all the way. overall, hes a pretty cool and fun guy to be with.

then theres this other guy, we kinda knew who each other were in high school, though we didnt talk till after we graduated. wed go out at night some days and just drive around, which was pretty fun. then this thing happened, which i wont talk about. its okay though, i forgive him. then just last night we talked on the phone and we hit it with each other like no other. i bet we couldve talked for hours joking around with each others head. idk if i can think of any imperfections about him, hes nearly perfect. the only problem is, he doesnt have any feelings for me anymore, when i asked him about a couple weeks ago? so that was a bummer and im too shy to ask him again. overall, im leading more towards this guy only because he mostly has what i want in a guy.

i cant possibly choose yet. idk. im done, the end.

Stay Strong,
♥Erika

Finish Time: 12:26 PM

Start Time: 11:27 PM

Dear Journal,

so you wont believe what happened at work. started at 2, i was at assembly (making sandwiches), everything was its usual self... "hows my fries?!" "park the car, please!" "watch your time, guys!" then 3:30 rolls along and janine (restaurant manager) rushes to the floor and shouts, "get everybody out the restaurant, guys.. now, hurry!!" of course, everybody was confused to what was going on. janine rushed to the mens bathroom and found it. didnt saw it but heard there were smoke and a fire in there. so we all evacuated the restaurant and fire trucks and police came.

all the employees and shift leaders hung outside, talk story, and joke around. i was hoping we could go home since the smoke was strong enough that you can smell it about 15-20 feet away from the doors but around 4, it was fine. (darnit...) we cleaned up the kitchen area and started from scratch. of course, the smell was still there, it was still there when i left to go home.

janine and may (shift leader) assumed it was one of the kids from washington middle school since they always bring chaos and the insane noise when they finish with school. but we dont know for sure. wed have to check on one of the cameras thats facing the bathroom.

so may was telling all of us on how it started. so may is counting the money in the office, when ruth (another shift leader) says, "somethings burning.." may goes, "hmm, yeah, go check the rice cooker" ruth checks and says, "nope" then may goes out of the office, looks at one of the vents (near the office and employee area) and sees smoke coming out of it. "ohh crappp..." says may. then janine finds out and tells us to leave.

what a day... good thing nobody was hurt or it didnt do a lot of damage. my belongings was in the office and thats where you can smell it the most so i was pretty lucky it didnt get to my stuffs.

k im done, it bums me out that we didnt close the whole restaurant and go home early.. boo.

Memorable Day Journal,
♥Erika

Finish Time: 12:18 AM
PS. it didnt take me that long to type this entry, im adding pictures in my photobucket and talking to richie online at the same time so ya!